【巴夏】《如何幫助痛苦之中的朋友？》
問：
A person who is very important to me is going through trouble—suffering, disease and divorce.
一個對我來說非常重要的人，現在身處多種麻煩之中：痛苦、疾病、離婚……
I prayed for this person but the suffering still continues.
我為他祈禱，但他仍然痛苦不斷。
Are there other ways I can help?
我還能幫他做什麼事情嗎？
巴夏：I can give you some suggestions.
我可以給你一些建議。
First of all, do not see them as being weak. Do not send them your pity, for you are only reinforcing the negativity.
首先，不要視他們為弱者，不要可憐他們。如果你這麼做的話，只會讓他們雪上加霜（強化他們的負面狀態）
Secondly, understand that every individual is choosing their own reality.
第二，要知道每個人都在選擇自己的實相。
Now, you can suggest things to them that can allow them to change, but you cannot force them to change.
你可以給一些建議，幫助他們改變，但你不能強迫他們改變。
You could share with them many of the principles we have discussed this day of your time, but their belief system may not be able to absorb it.
你可以跟他們分享我們今天探討的這些理念/法則，但他們的信念系統可能使他們難以理解。
What you must first learn is that you cannot take responsibility for them.
但你首先也要認識到，你是無法承擔他們的責任的。
The best way to help them is to be completely responsible to them in the following way.
你能説明他們的最好的方式，就是通過以下的方式對他們負責任
First of all, acting like you believe in their ability to change in a positive direction and do not see them as trapped.
首先，你不要視他們為陷在困境之中，你要表現得像是你相信他們有能力朝積極的方向做出改變。
Secondly, redefine what they are going through.
其次，你要對他們當前的經歷重新定義。
Recognize that they may be suffering, they may be in misery, but also recognize that obviously they felt they had the strength to go through it.
你要認識到：他們可能禍不單行，他們可能痛苦不堪，但很顯然他們肯定也覺得自己有能力渡過“難關”。
So see them first for the strength they must contain in order to have attracted such great limitation in their lives.
你先要看到他們內在的力量，有了強大的力量，才能夠在自己生命中吸引來強大的限制。
Act in an uplifting way around them, be a shining example of the kind of energy you would prefer.
並且你要以身作則，做一個鼓舞人心的閃耀的榜樣，散發出“理想的你”的能量。
Empathy is uplifting, but sympathy is reinforcing the negative.
感同身受，可以振奮人心；但同情，卻只會讓人更加灰心喪氣、失魂落魄、一蹶不振。
（注：無緣大慈，同體大悲）
So in other words, if you are hovering around that individual while they are being miserable, going, [greatly exaggerated]
換句話說，當一個人痛苦的時候，如果你在身旁說：
"Oh, yes... you are a very miserable person. Yes, you are!'
“是啊，你真是太可憐了！”
then you are only fulfilling the saying that you have upon your planet, that "misery loves company." Then you are both being miserable together.
那你就應驗了你們星球上的一句話“Misery Loves Company同病相憐”，然後你們就抱在一起痛哭吧！
Sometimes when individuals in your society are being miserable and you choose to be happy, they may think you're being "cold and unfeeling."
在你們的社會中，當一個人很痛苦時，你卻選擇快樂，那他們可能會認為你“冷漠無情”
Don't be afraid of that.
不要怕這個！
you can tell them that you love them dearly.
你可以告訴他們，你非常愛他們。
In fact, you love them so much that you refuse to reinforce their misery.
實際上，你是如此地愛他們，以至於你拒絕“火上澆油、推波助瀾”
Suggest to them changes of environment, changes of attitude, that will change the entire effect.
建議他們改變環境，改變自身的態度，這將完全改變他們的結果。
Get them excited about something.
讓他們對某些事物感到興奮。
Get them excited about themselves in a new direction.
讓他們在一個全新的方向，找到自己的興奮。
But if they don't take your suggestions, that's their choice.
但如果他們不採納你的建議，那是他們的選擇。
You can say, "Well, alright, if you still want to be miserable, we'll still be around, ready and willing to play with you when you' re ready to change."
你可以說：“好滴！既然你還想當可憐蟲，那我們就在旁邊等。哪天你願意改變了，我們再一起玩！”
You can remind them that if they want their reality to change the easiest way to do that is to change themselves.
你可以提醒他們，如果想改變現狀，那最簡單的方式就是改變自己。
So be a light, a radiant example of the kind of joy they can feel too by seeing it reflected from you.
所以，成為光，做一個發光的榜樣，讓他們可以在你身上看見光，可以感受到你的喜悅。
Otherwise, all you're doing is playing "mortician" observing over the death of the individual... "How sad!"
否則，你就像是一個“入殮師”，看著他們的屍體說“好悲催啊！”
Understand?
明白嗎？
Does that help you?
這對你有幫助嗎？
問：
Thank you. Starting tomorrow I'll be a shining example.
謝謝你！從明天開始，我就做一個發光的榜樣！
巴夏：
Oh, alright. Thank you. But what's wrong with right now?
好吧！也謝謝你！但為什麼不現在就開始呢？
問：
Yes...from this instant!
是的！從此刻開始！
巴夏：
Oh, thank you very much.
哈！非常感謝！
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